Overcoming Negative Thoughts To Achieve Your Dreams

Overcoming Negative Thoughts to Achieve Your Dreams

“Negative thoughts stick around because we believe them, not because we want them or choose them.” -Andrew J. Bernstein

Imperfections And Negative Self-Talk

My problem is not that I have these flaws, but rather, my dilemma is that I am always finding something “flawed” about myself. Why do flaws have to have a negative connotation? Is it because I envy what somebody else has in appearance, talents, or popularity? My problem is not them- the problem is in the sinful, negative thought pattern of envy. The bitterness takes root and grows uncontrollably, like some weeds in my yard. I carefully weed the yard, but I neglect my mind and emotions.

My mind connects me to everything- my family, friends, co-workers. It connects me to how I think about myself. Imperfections, physical, mental, or otherwise, are most certainly problems at times. Having positive thoughts help me get past those issues to focus on other important things in life. Negative thoughts about myself or others will only magnify meaningless, temporal things. It keeps me away from God and others.

How To Reframe Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts never generate a positive outcome. While it is important to be self-aware, it’s more important to not dwell on our imperfections. When you enter an art museum to see the vast display of work, you wouldn’t just hang around in one spot? You would probably acknowledge certain attributes, then move on to the next piece, knowing that you want to make the best use of your time. To stand around and disparage some of the artwork would be insulting to their creator.

Be Strong and Question The Status Quo

So easy to say when I am a grown woman. I know it is much more difficult for younger people to not think about their flaws. Parents, family, friends, in a perfect world, should help “buffer” some of the negative messages offered in popular culture. Often, it is the very people looked upon for acceptance that let us down and we are “unprotected” from hurtful, negative messages. When I say “messages”, I am referring to a broad term that represents advertising, social media, peers, school, and work. Messages from popular culture that push us into accepting a photoshopped version of how we should look, dress, act, and think. A culture that essentially shuns independent thinkers. Independent thinkers may or may not look ideal, but they are not consumed by appearances alone.

Find Your Place in The World & Be Content

When you can accept how you were made, you will pick better friends. You will not hurt all the time because you are trying to be something you are not meant to be. Be content, you have a future ahead.

Have you ever known somebody who is self-loathing? I lived much of my life not caring too much about myself. As a result, I did many foolish things. Foolishness never filled a void, it merely distracted me. I guess everyone is entitled to make mistakes. If I hadn’t hated myself for so many years, I might have achieved more, but I also have time now to fulfill my dreams.

It’s Never Too Late To Dream!

In fact, it’s probably better to start working on your dreams once you’ve been exposed to the realities of life, family, and work. College degrees can help you make more money, but no amount of education can provide you with wisdom and insight that are learned through mistakes and real-world experience.

Chasing after your dreams once you’ve been an adult for some time is ideal for people that were not guided and disciplined properly in life. Perhaps life events prevented you from realizing your full potential. The extra benefit to gaining real-life experience before chasing your dreams is this: you remain well-grounded and have desirable characteristics that make people want to see you succeed.

Give your dreams the attention they deserve! Start taking them seriously. Devise an attention plan to achieve your dreams.

If obstacles feel insurmountable, it simply means you have to work harder. If you feel you’re not moving ahead fast enough, perhaps you have to devote some more energy into understanding and managing your obstacles before proceeding. It’s is not a license to give up!

 

Woman sitting behind green bars, smiling innocently.

Simple Ways to Manage Anxiety and Depression

“Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.” -Bo Burnham

The most helpful part of managing my mood disorder is the fact that my moods are fairly predictable. In more severe cases, it is much more difficult to manage, at least not without the help of doctors. I’ve battled these moods since I was a teenager.

I’m almost certain, however, that I experienced strange things when I was younger. These things I’m talking about are the symptoms one sees when they have experienced trauma. Dissociation, depersonalization, and even involuntary, but subtle, nervous ticks.

So, I’ve battled these moods for many years- anxiety, depression, GAD, OCD. I am familiar with the alphabet soup of mental illness- although, that doesn’t qualify me to dispense medical advice. It simply means, my conditions are much more manageable, so manageable now that I can tell the psychiatrist I don’t want to take the Lamictal or any other drug.

And, I’ve spent so many years on the prescription-drug rollercoaster, to no avail. Well, that’s not entirely true- Prozac wasn’t too bad, except for the occasional electrical surge. Lexapro wasn’t so bad, either. Definitely a pass on Paxil, Buspar, and Serzone.

You might be able to pick up on the fact that I haven’t written regularly for the past few weeks. Today I began to see an improvement in my mood. Soon I will be scribbling away, hopefully finishing some artwork. Now that I am feeling better, I wish to share some simple things that help me feel “at peace.”

Thrive Mindful- Ways To Feel “At Peace”

Shop when the stores are empty.

Get a haircut.

Study a free online course through Coursera.

Play board games with family.

Prank-call a family member.

Play a musical instrument.

Enjoy an open-air, free concert.

Organize photos.

Visit the library.

Ride a bike.

Adopt an animal from a shelter.

Call a long-lost family member.

Wash the car.

Donate unwanted clothes to charity.

Do some yard work.

Explore other WordPress blogs.

Read a good book.

Write a poem.

Organize computer files.

Go for a car ride at dusk.

Watch the sunrise.

Make a list of goals.

Write down 3 things you enjoyed when you were ages 9-12.

Do a free, online personality assessment.

Draw (or doodle) some pictures for your poetry.

Draw a self-portrait.

Rearrange living room furniture.

Invite the opinions of others on topics with universal appeal (i.e, favorites lists of anything)- Promotes diversity and fresh ideas!

Take the family or a friend out to lunch.

Watch a band at the coffee shop.

Schedule a yearly health exam.

Play tennis with some family or friends.

Mental Health Communities And Forums

Finding relevant information and maintaining privacy are key issues for individuals suffering from mental health issues such as anxiety or depression. I’ve included some resources that may be helpful for questions and answers.

www.uncommonforums.com: Topics include psychology, depression, anger management, addictions, eating disorders, and anxiety/panic attacks.

www.dailystrength.com: Online support groups for anxiety, addiction/recovery, mental health, men’s health, women’s health, teens, children’s health/parenting and many other health issues in general.

www.sane.org: An Australian mental health website that includes a well-organized forum area. The aesthetic appeal and non-spammy feel make the website worthwhile.

www.beatingthebeast.com: “Beating The Beast” touts itself as an online depression support community, but I’ve discovered useful advice on anxiety disorders, as well as bipolar and other mental health issues.

If you were to write a list of things that make you feel happy or relaxed, what would it include? Is there a pattern in your list?

My list includes a little socializing, some solitude, and purging of unused things that others might want to use. Note that much of my joy comes from reading, writing, and drawing.

No matter how depressed or anxious I become, I try to make an effort to pursue my faith (reading the Bible, watching or reading content online about my faith). One key difference between how I handle my moods now, as opposed to when I was younger, is the fact that I pursue my spirituality. Even when I feel I’ve lost hope or control, there is always something more that governs life and the world around me.