10 Reasons Why I Love The Simplicity of Weekends

10 Reasons Why I Love the Simplicity of Weekends

“Elegance is achieved when all that is superfluous has been discarded and the human being discovers simplicity and concentration: the simpler and more sober the posture, the more beautiful it will be.” -Paulo Coelho

During another arduous day at work, I was surrounded by a glimmer of hope. That hope came in the form of gazing out the open dock doors, which circulated a faintly sweet smell of fresh, spring air. Yes, that same air that plagues me with overwhelming allergies, also ushered in my delightful mood. I suppose the fact that it was Friday may have contributed much more than I give credit.

This morning, I wanted to “treat” myself to a day of not having to cook or clean dishes, so I pre-ordered a pizza. I like to think of buying fast-food as a legitimate cheat I can offer myself in times of crisis- kind of like “phone a friend” from “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” fame.

I often pontificate about the joy of the weekends. In a flash, the weekend whizzes by, yet anticipating the weekend are what often makes people happy.

What is it about my weekends that makes me so happy?

I Get To Decompress

Decompression to me is the gentle art of releasing the stressors that have been building. By releasing these pressure points regularly, I am better equipped to handle additional challenges. My mind has been fully recharged, so I now have sufficient resources to effectively deal with daily challenges, as well as having more resilience in the event of unexpected stress-inducing situations. The way I decompress may be different from the way you decompress, but the theory can be applied to anybody.

Doing Things On My Terms

Although I don’t have many complex projects abounding, I still find joy in doing the most mundane things on my own timeline. For instance, I get panic attacks when I go shopping at Walmart on Saturday afternoons, so I plan ahead to pick up my groceries. I feel kind of special when I can just pull up and have people load my groceries and wish me a great day. This is a far contrast to what I’d experience going inside to shop- crowded aisles, confused and rude shoppers, misplaced items, and long lines. I like that I can go shopping in the early morning hours, while everyone is still at home. It’s a tranquil scene to have an entire store devoid of the flurry of activity that often induces overwhelming anxiety.

Time To Shop More Consciously

When I shop early in the morning or arrange to pick up my groceries, not only do I avoid anxiety, but my mind can focus on making better food choices that are within my budget, instead of mindless shopping. Mindless shopping leaves my wallet empty and my conscious guilty because I have given in to fear and anxiety, instead of using my mind as a tool to provide resources for my family. To be governed by fear is at the heart of many poor choices.

Time To Organize and Declutter

When I bring in stuff, I have to be mindful of what I clear out of my pantry and my house. Again, the principle of mindfulness, as opposed to mindlessness, is one of simplicity. You can see it in the way somebody keeps their house- is this person concerned and mindful of their resources, or do they just view possessions as unimportant. Do they covet their possessions? I am enthralled by how some people are so mindful of their lives- especially, closely-knit groups of people, with strong cultural or religious beliefs.

More Quality Time and Quiet Time with Family

To wake up before my kids and get started a little ahead of them has always been something I’ve indulged in since they were very young. I was able to do this by going to sleep at a reasonable time. I let them sleep in a couple of hours after I wake up. Not everyone can do this, I understand. Some people are not morning people. In that case, there may be other ways to carve out a little time to get ahead of the day.

Sometimes we go to the movies on Saturday afternoons, when the price and crowds are minimal. Less energy is expended worrying about contending with crowded seating and noisy patrons. When it’s quiet and less-crowded, those simple moments with your family aren’t lost on other distracting elements.

Scenic Drives in Town and Country

Early-morning driving into town lends itself to some very peaceful moments for me. Sometimes I see a beautiful scene and I feel inclined to take a picture, but, of course, I don’t stop. There are moments to be shared, and there are moments meant for only you to enjoy. These times might impress something inspiration upon my mind.

Hiking, Being Outside In Nature

In Ohio, there are many scenic walking trails. My favorite park is about 5 miles away and it is home to equestrian trails, canoeing, fishing, and, in the summer, swimming. There is a small pond that is inhabited by the loudest bullfrogs. Just when I think I will be fast enough to spot one, it disappears into the water or beyond.

Reading Lots of Non-Fiction Books

When I pick out books at the library, I grab several because I know some of the books aren’t worth a read. However, I usually pick “winners” when I choose. These books are penned by PhDs, M.D.’s, and best-selling authors and speakers. Usually, my tastes lean towards psychology books, religion, and spirituality, emotional well-being, etc. Much of the information contained in the books is entertaining because the content is presented from a different and unique perspective.

10 Reasons Why I Love The Simplicity of Weekends

A pile of non-fiction books carefully selected at the local library.

Intellectual Stimulation

During the week, I only have time to read news-bites. When I stumble upon important issues, I further research and study them online. If I’m really interested, I find some videos on the subject matter. The weekends are a time in which I can expand my horizons by taking free online courses. Some are interesting enough that I take the time to complete each assignment. (Remember that thing about bipolar? Sometimes it impairs my concentration, so I have to be very selective about what I am willing to commit).

Candles, Aesthetic Design, and Discovering Interesting Blogs

Candles are such a simple way to indulge the senses and create a home filled with warmth. Yes, I’m trying to intellectualize my affinity for Vanilla-scented candles. After I’ve decluttered the pantry, I open up the mail from each day and discard the junk mail, tack-up the important bills and notices, or file in another suitable location.

When the house is organized and decluttered, and the aroma of vanilla-candle is wafting throughout the house, I feel inspired to cast a few glances at the lifestyle blogs at Bloglovin’. My own blog has recently been verified and I’m discovering some other wellness and mental health blogs. While Bloglovin’ is largely known for its Pinterest-like aesthetic filled with beauty blogs, it is very much fertile ground for the unique types of blogs that are featured on WordPress.com. 

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A Simple Prayer Made Me More Resilient Today

A Simple Prayer Made Me More Resilient Today

Wednesdays are full of hope for many people and no matter how depressed I feel, I am filled with optimism. What does Wednesday really signify?

  • I only have to get up early for two more days.
  • Soon, I can be at home with my family.
  • It means I can get caught up on laundry, cleaning, and shopping (oh, joy!).

It all sounds so exciting, I know. Maybe I will find something good to watch on Netflix.

Maybe I will devise another book idea, or get my hopes up about writing for a living.

Today, as sweat poured down my arms, I waited for my break so I could get a drink of water. Never in my life have I wanted a drink of water more than the last two hours of the workday! I felt my heart racing earlier today. My speech was rapid as I voiced my dismay over the quality expectations. Thirty-second cycle times again on the machine. Too much intricate trimming and assembly required for that span of time. The quality auditors were relentless. I bit my tongue and decided to pretend I was trimming everything indicated by the sample parts. The quality auditors were none-the-wiser.

Landscape photo of a factory.

My last break was due at about 1:30 pm. However, another worker took the liberty to ask to have her break first, even though it had been a long span of time for me in between the breaks. When other people decide things that involve you, without including you in the decision-making process- and you too are gasping and parched from a dry mouth, it can be irritating.

I’m sure the other worker didn’t mean any harm towards me. I told the girl that gives breaks that I was really looking forward to my break on time because I was thirsty. Then, I said I would have liked to sit for a few minutes when I started getting palpitations. I kind of just wanted to make her aware that sometimes people have medical issues that require timely breaks. I don’t know if she really cared. She looked very tired too.

I told myself that my co-workers are important to me too. Clearly, I was only considering my own thirst and need for rest. At my machine, in between the monotony of trimming, assembling, folding, and taping, I didn’t want to offend anybody. I just wanted to be considered instead of excluded or overlooked.

Sometimes, we get excluded and overlooked in life. There is a time to ask whether or not it was done intentionally. We all just happened to need a break at the same time, and one person was more vocal about her needs.

I suppose this most the most significant event of the day because it’s the focus of my writing.

It’s not up to me to decide who goes first, or if it’s even fair. In the workplace, I’m just a number.

A figure wearing a baseball hat with the words,

Then I realized something very important! At my morning break, I prayed for endurance and for my co-workers. That prayer must have have been answered today, just not the way I expected. I was given the stamina to ride out the long afternoon. My co-worker got her need for rest and hydration met when she needed it most!

Often I overlook God. I think that because I have such a menial job, He has more important things to care about other than me. While that is true- He has many important people and needs to consider, it doesn’t mean I rank any less in His realm.

Wednesdays somehow make it all better. For me, that place will be far from my mind- at least for a few days.

How to Channel Anxiety in a Positive Way

Where Are You On Maslow’s Pyramid?

“We may define therapy as a search for value.”

-Abraham Maslow

Abraham Harold Maslow (1908-1970), an American psychologist best known for “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs”- a theory that employs the notion that in order to achieve one’s highest potential, one must not be lacking in any of the four essential needs of the pyramid. Of these four needs that precede the self-actualization level of the pyramid, the following must be satisfied:

  • Esteem- The desire to be valued and accepted, power, recognition.
  • Love/Belonging- Family, friends, intimacy, inclusion.
  • Safety- Money, health, stability, and a sense of personal and family safety, property, employment.
  • Physiological- Air, clothing, food, water, shelter, rest.
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs helps outline the components needed to ensure happiness and self-actualization.

Maslow, who referenced his own work as, “positive psychology”, called the four bottom levels of his five-level model, the “deficiency needs.” These needs are called deficiency needs because, without them, we feel uncomfortable and anxious. However, when these needs are met, we are not likely to notice, or feel any different, simply because they are innate needs.

The highest of Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs” is self-actualization. This tier includes things such as morality, creativity, problem-solving, and spontaneity. Self-Actualization is the ability and desire to meet one’s fullest potential or to accomplish as much as one’s ability allows. Self-actualization is achieved when we are equipped and ready to “level up.” In other words, when we don’t have to worry about the basics, we have more resources available to consider our growth and development.

What Things Hinder An Individual’s Personal Growth?

When a person is living with constant fear, it is more difficult to get their needs met. For instance, when an individual feels threatened, their brain prompts the fight-or-flight response. At that state, it is unlikely that the person who is plagued by fear will have to ability to effectively utilize problem-solving skills. Additionally, that person will be so focused on meeting their safety needs, as well as the need for love/belonging and esteem.

In an effort to subdue distress and anxiety, people often use what Freud called, “defense mechanisms.” Furthermore, many individuals who suffer from anxiety may also substitute their deficiencies. Instead of adopting healthy habits that will help us achieve our needs (and thus, self-actualization), we may feel compelled to feel a sense of love/belonging by controlling our appearance or employing unhealthy eating habits. Another example would be family dysfunction or a dysfunctional household. The teenager who lives in an alcoholic family may undertake the role of the nurturing parent. Another person may take a different route- perhaps by running away or seeking solace by withdrawing from the family.

The How And What Of Defense Mechanisms

While Maslow focused his work on the study of what makes humans happy, the Austrian neurologist, and founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud explored other elements of the human psyche, such as sexual energy being the driving force behind our unconscious behaviors. Freud noted several defense mechanisms people use to protect themselves from anxiety.

  • Repression
  • Denial
  • Projection
  • Displacement
  • Regression
  • Sublimation

Freud's Defense Mechanisms

Sublimation: A “Mature” Defense Mechanism

Psychiatrist and professor at Harvard Medical School, George Vaillant, contends that many of the aforementioned defense mechanisms can be harmful to us, but concluded that more “mature defenses”, like sublimation, can be productive. Vaillant proposed four layers of defense mechanisms:

  • Narcissistic
  • Immature
  • Neurotic
  • Mature

Some common examples of sublimation include channeling aggression into a sports activity, or painting when one wishes to express, in a socially-acceptable behavior, the pain they feel from a broken relationship.

Sublimation can be used to control negative impulses associated with anger, jealousy, disappointment, sadness, and mistrust.

Many notable creative and literary work have been bestowed upon humanity, most likely, as a result of the use of the sublimation defense mechanism. Van Gogh is reported to have painted one of his most prominent paintings, The Starry Night, while hospitalized at Saint-Remy. The painter Jackson Pollock, employed “action painting” into his creations. The use of movement and expression involved in this type of pursuit likely utilized the sublimation defense mechanism to deal with his own internal conflicts and anxieties.

While both artists had personal struggles- Van Gogh had mental health issues and Pollack had a tendency to become violent when drinking, it can be surmised that their ability to express themselves artistically may have helped them channel at least some of their negativity into more positive ways of dealing with their problems. Possibly, life could have been better for these artists, but we can truly never know the depths of their psyches.

Maslow’s pyramid indicates that one characteristic of self-actualization as the ability to be creative and spontaneous, independent, and honest. Pollock was widely regarded for his authenticity in his painting style. Was he true to himself? Could he have been even more successful as an artist, or even, as a husband to fellow artist Lee Krasner?

Other psychologists theorize that self-actualization involves fulfilling an altruistic need, that is, the ability to serve humanity. Perhaps by using sublimation defense mechanisms (sports, art, science, etc.), we can manage our anxieties until all our hierarchical needs are fully met. We can “fake it ‘til we make it.” Although it is challenging at times to consider altruistic endeavors, once we can find a way to overcome ourselves, we can be equipped to use our gifts to serve others.

References:

  1. https://outre-monde.com/2015/10/01/a-philosophical-cure-for-anxiety/
  2. http://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/history-of-happiness/abraham-maslow/
  3. https://courses.lumenlearning.com/suny-monroecc-hed110/chapter/theory/
  4. https://www.simplypsychology.org/defense-mechanisms.html#why
  5. https://www.verywellmind.com/biography-of-abraham-maslow-1908-1970-2795524
  6. https://www.psychologistworld.com/freud/defense-mechanisms
  7. https://psychologenie.com/understanding-concept-of-sublimation-in-psychology
  8. https://www.britannica.com/biography/Jackson-Pollock

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